When Darren came to see one of our family lawyers , it was obvious that his decision to leave his wife Mary was not an easy one. Not only had Darren been with Mary for 15 years, they had three children together ranging in ages from 5 to 12 years of age. Darren needed advice on child custody for fathers.
involved fathers bring positive benefits to their children that no other person is likely to bring
Darren was really worried that the law would be against him and that Mary would have total control of the parenting arrangements. Darren wanted to be an involved dad, but as he worked full-time he wanted to be able to spend time with the children as much as possible.
As specialist family lawyers, we have seen first hand the devastating consequences for children when their parents are caught in bitter battles over their care and custody arrangements. We have also seen and know how important fathers are in the lives of their children. We are experts in our knowledge of all matters regarding child custody for fathers.
Studies have shown that fathers who engage with their children in a positive way and with higher levels of involvement have been linked to
- Higher levels of cognitive and social excellence
- Positive emotional regulation
- Positive self-esteem
- post interaction with siblings and peers
- higher achievement at school
Child Custody for Fathers – Tips
If you are a father going through child custody, then the following 5 tips will help you:
Tip No. 1
Trust that the relationship you have built with your children over the years will not be forgotten because of the current separation or divorce. For fathers who have very young babies, this is understandably difficult, as they have not had time to bond or develop a relationship with the child. But that is no reason to rush or push to develop a relationship with your child. It is important to remember that the relationship will form when the child is developmentally ready- just be there, available and ready to enhance the relationship.
Tip No. 2
When you do spend time with the children make it about them, don’t involve the children in the conflict between you and their mother. Children can’t cope with this and they should not have to. Children should be safe, secure and have fun and be taken care of whilst with you.
Tip No. 3
Be the best role model to your children that you can be. Don’t underestimate how important your influence and presence is in your children’s lives.
Tip No. 4
Get help for any addictions. It will not help your children if you have untreated addictions such as alcohol or illicit drug. Your ex will step in and stop you from spending anytime with your child if addiction is an issue.
Tip No. 5
Control anger and conflict- there is never an excuse to use violence, control or force on a partner or children. There are some very useful and tran formative courses on anger management that can assist. Relationships Australia and Associated Counsellors and Psychologist run anger management and behavioral change courses for men